12 Signs You Might Be the Mom of a Toddler


I know. 

You don't actually need a list to tell you if you are the parent of a toddler. But it might be fun to see you aren't the only one (if you have a toddler), see what you are in for (should you want to have toddlers one day), or remember what life was once like (when you had toddlers).

Here's a very real glimpse into the Conquering house.


You might be the mom of a toddler if:
  1. Your vacuum canister has more cheerios and goldfish in it than actual dirt.
  2. Your house is only clean at naptime and bedtime (and if you are really honest, only one or two naptimes or bedtimes a week).
  3. Your dining chairs are often turned over on their sides either to keep your child from dancing on the dining room table or to use as a make shift baby-gate.
  4. Your diet now primarily consists of goldfish, cheerios, chicken nuggets, apple sauce, bananas and cheese… and anything else you can manage to get your child to eat that's green and/or helps with the daily BM.
  5. You count how many times your child has a BM.
  6. Me talking about BM’s doesn’t faze you.
  7. Your shoulders constantly have either mushy crumbs on them, snot, or drool… or all three.
  8. You count going to the bathroom by yourself as a source of joy.
  9. You understand what “duh,” “guh,” and “bah” mean. You also understand that they can have different meanings depending on where you are and how it’s spoken.
  10. The first places you look when your remote controller goes missing are the trash can, the dishwasher, the toy bin, the drawers in your kitchen, and maybe even the toilet on a particularly rough day.
  11. The only way you arrive on time anywhere is if you start attempting to leave one whole hour before you actually need to leave to get there on time.
  12. You've brushed cheerios off of someone's rump today (including your own).

And here's two very toddler pictures of my cheerio-butt-fashion, goldfish-eating, mess-making, climbing-and-making-his-momma's-heart-stop and the source of all kinds of joy in our house--Jed.
















This conquering housewife has been feeling a little defeated lately. I needed to laugh and appreciate some really simple things in life.

Want to add to the laughs and/or the realness? I would love it if you'd share: How can you tell you or someone you know has a toddler?

xo
Amanda

On Sailing and Obedience



I picture this sailboat. 

Red
with big white sails. Out on the open ocean.
I imagine the wind in my hair, the regret
at not putting my now-wind-frazzled hair in a ponytail,
the taste of sea and salt in my mouth,
gulls flying.

I think of how I may want
to get somewhere.
I know very little about sailing, but I do
know that you use the wind
to get you places.

Photo Credit


I think of God.
And how sometimes I can do something that I know God has put on my heart to do
and somehow I have the energy
and the strength
that propels me forward.
Wind in sails.

Obedience.

I think of how sometimes I get focused on the future
and where I want to be
and  how it feels like I am not getting anywhere,
and I pull out my oars.
I try
to make things happen on my own.
I deplete my strength,
I get exhausted,
and I seem to not really go anywhere—
especially for all my efforts.

Photo Credit

Striving.

I think on how timing
and direction
are important with sailing.
So it is with God’s plans.

The word striving comes from the word strife—
and it’s true.
Striving is to be at strife with God’s Will—
or just His timing—
or just His direction.
Like rowing against the wind.

I think of the way that I can toil
and work
and spin
my metaphorical wheels, and seem to get nowhere
besides tired.

I think of the way
I sometimes sense this stirring
in my heart,
like an open book
with pages fluttering forward
by the invisible fingers of the wind
open at the command
of a breezy day.
God is moving
and I line myself up
with His Will
and I move forward,
easily,
almost effortlessly.

Photo Credit

“The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8


Friends, I have seen God move here in this writing and on this blog. I have seen Him propel me forward. But I have also seen myself try way too hard, exhaust myself to no avail, and come painfully close to burn-out. I am thinking on this right now. On striving and obedience. More than I want to get somewhere; I want to obey.


What do you think? Do you see this in your life… the rowing and the wind?? The striving and the obedience?? Love to hear your thoughts!


By Grace,
Amanda

Happy to link this up here:


10 Things My Allume Roomie Needs to Know

Just for fun and just to celebrate the conference I get to attend at the end of the month, I decided to join up with other Allume attendees at Brooke McGlothlin's blog and write the 10 things I want my Allume conference roomie to know about me.

This is my first time going to any kind of blogging/writing/social media conference and my first time going to any kind of conference that I had to fly to get to. I am nervous and excited! I can't believe I get to go!

My Roomie is Jacqui from Faith and Simplicity. I have met her once inRL and I am pretty sure she's like my sister from another mister. She's such a sweetheart and seems to process things freakishly similar to me.
{Update 10/9/12: I have TWO more roommates, whom I do not know at all, but I can tell, I definitely want to meet them! Anna and Sarah, I have a feeling we are going to have fun.}

Just as a warning: You may find out way more about me than you ever wanted to know.

  1. I get really silly when I am tired and it's late... like crazy-stupid silly, like laugh-at-all-my-own-jokes silly, like none-of-my-jokes-are funny-at-any-other-time silly, like make-up-dance-moves-to-Backstreet-Boy's-songs silly. Yeah. You've been warned.
  2. While I may come to life at night, this princess turns into a pumpkin in the morning (or perhaps more accurately a bear). Probably best to avoid talking to me until I've had my coffee.
  3. I really like chocolate. Any kind (white, dark, milk, semi-sweet, bittersweet... Symphony bars with almonds and toffee...)
  4. I drink foo-foo coffee (iced half-sweet vanilla latte or iced carmel macchiato, half the pumps of vanilla and easy on the caramel, just saying). I just can't get into black coffee.
  5. I am an introvert. Just because I am quiet, doesn't mean I don't want to be around you. I may just not know what to say at that moment. I may just be enjoying the quiet. Also, I have to have quiet time by myself to recharge daily. If you can't find me, there's a good chance I am taking a walk in the fresh air, hiding in the room, or sitting somewhere quiet to read my Bible and meditate.
  6. I am really approachable and love to problem solve. If I am hogging the bathroom mirror, said something wrong (as I am prone to when I am tired, see point 1), or you would like some quiet time too because say you are an introvert like me, just say so :)
  7. Some of my favorite music: Matisyahu, Mumford and Sons, songs like "Boot-Scootin Boogie" by Brooks and Dunn, "Rapper's Delight," just about anything from the 90's, and anything I can sing and/or dance to. Oh and Hillsong United. Favorite. Worship. Band. Ever. (Oh and I pretty much can't help but sing and dance along anytime there is music. If I don't sing and dance, my head starts bobbing in rhythm and my eyebrows go up and down with the notes of the melody. Just let me sing and dance. Or keep the music off. Or better yet, Join me!)
  8. In college I used to participate in rap-offs with a group of friends. Wanna go? Ha!!... But seriously... want to? ;)
  9. I am pretty sure I don't snore or have strange odors... unless I am pregnant (I know, tmi... but seriously! And no, I am not pregnant... you can breathe a sigh of relief, roomie). Once when I was younger, while asleep at a sleepover, I sat up in bed, looked at everyone, and yelled at the top of my lungs, "Kmart! No!" I slammed my fist into my pillow, and went back to sleep. I have no recollection of this and am pretty sure this all happened while sleeping. Keep me away from Kmart? Ha!
  10. This is my first time leaving my son (1) over night, the longest I have been away from my daughter (4), my first time flying since I was in 8th grade, and the longest I have left my husband since being married (7 years). I may vascilliate between "Yay! girl time!" and "I just SO miss my kids and husband!"
And just to help you out...This face:

Don't be alarmed by this face. It's just me trying to get my flat, straight hair to be more voluminous. My hair is often straight and flat. This face will happen often. Ha!



I would love to know (Allume attendees and my readers alike), do we have anything in common??

xo
Amanda

Psssst... Want to find me on twitter??: @conqhousewife

    {In which YOU Share} On Death and Loss and Miscarriage and How God Can Still Be There



    I had another reader respond with a desire to share her story of waiting. 

    It's a story of incredible loss and pass and devastation. But there's hope, and such grace. (Do read to the end. But just a fair warning, you may want to read with a tissue.)  


    Patricia's Waiting Room

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    I felt drawn to his grave.  I felt a measure of comfort knowing there was a physical place where he was still with me, though dead.  He was only 5 months old when he died.  It wasn’t a quick unexpected death like SIDS. It felt more like a long ordeal.  He was born with congenial heart disease.  What that means is his heart didn’t form properly. After lots of procedures, operations, hospitals, and doctors, at 5 months old, my sweet, precious baby boy died. 

     I stood over the grave and cried. I recited, “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want…”  I told myself to be strong.  I kept thinking of the phrase you see on funeral flowers, “Rest in peace.”  The thought struck me, how could my little one “Rest in peace,” if I was wailing and carrying on. I stood and told my son, “Go on, and be with Jesus, momma’s going to be ok.  Don’t you worry about me. I’m going to be fine.  I love you.” With new found resolve, I left and tried to move on. 

    Most everyone was supportive.  They tried to comfort, pass on wisdom, insight. The problem wasn’t with them, it was with me. I felt dead inside, dark, and empty.  I knew rationally that I loved my husband, but, to be honest, I didn’t feel it. As time went on, people got on with their lives. I felt left behind. They seemed happy, and I felt stuck in grief. They didn’t know what to say to me, nor I to them.  Grief can be so isolating.  I felt like a mom, but had no child to mother.  

    My husband was after me to go back to work.  We fought.  I wasn’t happy.  We were still both grieving.  We fought some more.  

    Then the day came, a spark of hope, my period was late.  I took a test and, yes, I was pregnant. The joy didn’t last longer than a month. Cramps signaled the end.  

    Again the day came, a spark of hope, again my period was late, again I took a test and again I was pregnant.  Again, cramps signaled the end. 

    I cried a lot.  I already felt somehow responsible for my son’s condition and death.  Then with the miscarriages I felt like, boy, there must be something terribly wrong with me, a failure.  God must hate me, and I must have somehow gotten on His “bad things are going to happen to her” list.  I was convinced God had such a list, based on my experience.  Though to be clear, I didn’t know God any more than occasionally attending Sunday school growing up, and I certainly hadn’t read the Bible.
    My doctor advised me to put off, wait awhile before trying again to get pregnant. He advised me, given my history, to see a genetic specialist if and when I got pregnant again.  I finally gave in and went back to work.  I wasn’t happy; it just kept me busy.   

    The day came; a spark of hope, my period was late.  I took a test, and, yes, I was pregnant.  I made an appointment with the genetic specialist.  By the time I saw him I was 3 months, further along than the last two times. He asked me a long list of questions, ordered my son’s records to be sent to him and I made another appointment to see him.  At my next appointment he told me what my chances were on the possibility of something being wrong with this child. He advised me of the tests I could undergo to find out if there was something wrong.  He described amniocenteses, where he would draw out some amino fluid from the sac, send it out to be tested, and I would get the results back when I was 5 months along. He then asked me point blank what I would do with this knowledge.  If it came back that something was wrong, would I be able to end this pregnancy?  I felt confronted, challenged, betrayed. I had naively thought I went to this doctor for the well being of my unborn child, and he was opting abortion as a solution for a problem.  I went home upset.  My husband and I discussed the matter.  My husband, the ever rational, thought if the tests came back with something wrong, then we should end the pregnancy.  He cited financial expense, but I knew it was the emotional expense of another ordeal.  I didn’t know what I’d do.  Though I loved my son, I didn’t want to go through it again. And then the thought of a late term abortion, no, I couldn’t do that either. I cried, prayed, and cried some more.  I prayed, “Oh God, I can’t do this, you make the choice. Please, make the choice for me.“ The cramps started the next day and lasted long into the early morning.  The miscarriage wasn’t like the others. This one was like labor, and when the fetus passed, it looked like a very small, tiny infant.  I placed it in a plastic cup to be taken to the genetic specialist for examination.  I felt defeated, desolate, and hopeless.  

    I went back to work.  I tried to move on, but my heart was breaking.  My husband slept peaceful, but I couldn’t.  I sat up on the couch crying, pleading, praying, “God, what’s wrong with me?  I’m so sorry, please, can’t I have a child, even if there’s something wrong it. God, I’ll take ‘em , love ’em, please.”  There came a silent peace over me.

    When my period was again missed, this time I didn’t rush out to get a test.  I was two full months before I made an appointment to be seen by a doctor and only then because of the severe morning sickness.  I had made up my mind; I wouldn’t be seeing any genetic specialist.  I would take and love the gift I was given, as is. Even though I wanted this child very much, the gloom of the past years was with me.  I kept anticipating a miscarriage. There was this ever present dread. Seriously, I was in full term labor still feeling like “I can’t do this,” when the doctor said, “Push, now.”  I heard her cry for the first time. The doctors made their examination and proclaimed her healthy, but it wasn’t until I held her and made my own examination—healthy, pink, and beautiful—that hope began to rise in my heart. 

    Wouldn’t it be nice and I wish I could say that everything was fine after my daughter was born.  She was, I wasn’t. Physically I was fine; emotionally, spiritually, I was a wreck. I still carried some beliefs about me, and about God. I needed to learn to trust again. I needed to believe that God loved me, that He was for me and not against me, that bad things were not my destiny. What I needed most was to really know God, not my idea of God, but Him personally.  In October of that same year, when my daughter was 5 months old, I knelt down beside my bed and asked the Lord into my heart. I can’t say with all honesty that when I got off my knees there was a miraculous change, but it was the start of the process of healing.  

    My husband and I are still married, and we have been blessed with three more healthy children (that’s 8 total between heaven and earth).  I look back on this time and while some may call their waiting rooms a place of promise, while I was in it, it was a place of great pain. It is only in hindsight that I see the promise—the hope.  I have no regrets, no accusations, no blame, just a great sense of a beautiful, costly gift been given. Though it changed me forever, if given the choice I would change nothing. Where my heart was once filled with darkness and death, there is the preciousness of how fragile  life can be, and yet there is love, an overflowing, over whelming , over taking love. One day I will see my son again, and he can introduce me to his siblings, the ones I’ve never met.  

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

    {The name was changed to preserve anonymity. This story was shared with permission.}

    Between yesterday and today, I am feeling a little wrecked. God is changing my heart and my way of seeing. Grace is infinitely possible. I don't understand it. I am feeling that broken-but-somehow-full thing I talked about when I asked for your stories, I guess I just didn't fully anticipate what that would feel like.  I would love to hear from you in the comments. I bet Patricia would as well. :)

    As a reminder, This is someone's personal story. Please be sensitive in your comments. I want this to be a safe place and an encouraging place. Also know that when you put yourself out there by telling your story, you want to know that you are okay, that your story was heard. Perhaps at least leave my friend a simple "thank you for sharing" type response if the story touches you? If you or someone you know is facing this kind of devastating grief, we'd love to pray. Just leave a comment or send me an email.

    Should you want to share your story, it's not too late, send it here: conqueringhousewife{at}the-cadence{dot}com or click here to email me right now. Read this post to hear my heart behind sharing your stories.

    If you want to read about what God does when we are waiting, click the "Waiting Room" Graphic in the sidebar or click Sept 2012 in the archives on the sidebar (pretty much all of September was dedicated to waiting). 


    By Grace,

    Amanda



    Sharing this here:
    Photobucket

    In the Waiting Room {In which YOU share and you can link up}

    Something about my son's expression in this picture seemed to speak of waiting... or tolerating rather. :) Photo by my talented friend, KatieFewellPhotography.


    I asked for your stories of Waiting. 

    And I got some responses. So today I have the humble honor of sharing someone's story with you. By the way, I won't be sharing my reactions or thoughts on these stories. I want people's stories to speak for themselves.

    I feel like I should mention, I just really felt like God put this on my heart to do. There may only be one or two link ups, and only a few waiting stories. I'm okay with that. It's HARD to share your story. And, waiting, yeah, that's really hard too!! And sometimes, we aren't quite ready to share, and that's okay. I truly believe God does something powerful in us when we bring our hurts and disappointments into the Light. So often, without even realizing it, we buy into lies when we keep things to ourselves, like we are the only one going through something like this, or that God loves us less because it feels like He is withholding, or that you will be stuck waiting forever and things will never change. God also does something powerful in other peoples' hearts when we share our story--compassion, faith, hope all rise up in us. It's good all the way around. (So yeah, if you want to share your story, it's not too late. And yes, you can be completely anonymous if you prefer. It doesn't have to be well-written. It doesn't have to be long. It doesn't have to have a happy ending. It can be messy {but do try to not throw anyone under the bus by, say, mentioning them by name} It can be something that happened years ago. Maybe God would ask you--survivor, conqueror of a past waiting room--to encourage someone here in theirs? There is Grace, Hope, Love... all found in the Light.)

    Should you want to share your story, send it here: conqueringhousewife{at}the-cadence{dot}com or click here to email me right now.

    Now, before I share my friend's story, I have some rules--or more like something to be mindful of. These are someone's personal stories. It's hard being in that place of waiting. Please be sensitive in your comments. I want this to be a safe place and an encouraging place. Also know that when you put yourself out there by telling your story, you want to know that you are okay, that your story was heard. Perhaps leave my friend a simple "thank you for sharing" type response if the story touches you?

    {Names and some details have been changed to preserve anonymity. This is shared with permission}


    Stacy's Waiting Room:
    ---------------------------------------------------------------


    I'd like to share my story. It's a long one. Please bear with me. Usually when someone asks me to tell them about myself I start with the normal: " Hi, I'm Stacy. I'm married to John for 10 years now. We have 2 girls 9 and 7. We home school, etc.” It doesn't usually come up right away because I don't think of it as descriptive, but I have Cerebral Palsy and I'm wheelchair bound. My childhood was challenging and didn't come to Christ until I was 16. Old enough to have made have been "forgiven much" and "love much". Against all logic and reason, I went to a private Christian University. (I could've gone to a state university for free.) I graduated early with degrees in Counseling and Biblical Studies (with a minor in cross-cultural and urban missions). During my college years and afterward (until I had children), I, along with the man I married, were very active in church and missions work. I was a hospital chaplain and my fiancé/husband and I were youth pastors. Due to my disability and other factors I was told I could not have children. Miraculously and graciously, God gave us our hearts’ desire. 3 months after I got married, I discovered I was already 2 months pregnant with my first daughter. I had to quit my job and everything I was doing at that time so that I'd be able to carry her to term. After my baby was born, it took a long time for me to recover... Only to discover, I was pregnant again. The doctors were stunned. I was scared. My husband was thrilled. Taking care of a small baby while you're in a wheelchair is not impossible, but it is very challenging. Being pregnant made it more so. Our second blessing was born premature, but healthy. Thank God! Unfortunately, pregnancy and time has taken its toll on my body. (During pregnancy I developed severe asthma and breathing problems.) I'm no longer physically able to do even half of what I could do before I had children. I have the best husband EVER!

    I love my daughters! Not a day goes by that I don't tell them, "I love you. You are a gift and a blessing in every way. I'm so thankful that I get to be your Mama and that you are my daughter. God has a call and a plan for your lives." I would do it all again in a heartbeat and so would my husband. Ever since I became pregnant, I feel like I've lived in the Waiting Room. Right after college I had been asked to teach at a Bible college overseas. (The day before my flight to was to depart I was told my Restricted Area Permit had been revoked. I had a 10 year visa. I never went.) I trust God, for the most part. I know He knows what He is doing. I know He's given me the heart I have missions. Our family prays everyday with Operation World for various countries and regions. For now I wait. I've learned that waiting can be active. Like a waiter who waits on someone in a restaurant. Or it can be passive. Either way, I'll keep waiting. My chances of ever doing anything "significant" by the world's and even the church's standard are slim to none. That's okay. Even if I never make it out of the waiting room, He is worth waiting for.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------

     The Link Up:

    Link your own stories of waiting here--how you are waiting now, how you have waited in the past, wisdom on waiting you might share, or something specific that starts something like "What I want someone to know who is (insert something that could make you feel like you are waiting like infertility, cancer, leaving a career to be a stay at home mom, taking care of a loved one...)" A past post is fine, but please only waiting topics. {I will remove any innappropriate links.}

    1. I only ask that you link back to this site on your post (so we recognize the community). The graphic or a link back to this site is fine.
    2. Please leave some encouraging words for 1 other person. I like the warm-fuzzies people give me when they comment and encourage me or just let me know they prayed for me. Let's be that kind of community!! :)
    3. And you know, Link to the specific post, not your website.

    That's it!

    Thank you :)

    xo
    Amanda

     

    Five Minute Friday: Grasp



    Today I am participating in my first ever Five MinuteFriday. I have been wanting to do it for a while, and decided today was just as good as any to dive in. Five Minute Friday is an exercise to write on a prompt for 5 minutes straight. Just write. No editing. No polishing. Just writing. I link up what I write up with an awesome community (At Liso-Jo Baker’s place) and visit at least the person in line before me. Want to be a part of a cool community? Want to hone your writing craft? JOIN! :)


    Today’s prompt: Grasp.

    Go

    Grasp. Holding hands open and then closed around something—tight. I think of holding my toddler’s hand before we cross the street. I grasp it. Hold it tight. He might try to pull away, all boy and ready to explore. But I am mom, the safety enforcer, and I grasp something so dear and important.

    I think of an idea or a concept. I open my mind to try to understand it, and then close around it once I understand it. I grasp it. And if it’s good, I hold it tight. It might try to get away from me, so I ask questions, ponder it, grasp it, run it around in my hands like I did when I got that container of gak as a child. I explore its properties, wonder about it, it tries to leave my fingers, so I involve my other hand in the exploration. 

    I think of the way God’s grasp is with me. The way I get all wormy squirmy in the palm of his hands.  I get restless and try to handle—grasp at—my own life and plans and future. But God’s grasp is often loose and gentle and allows me to leave,  sometimes it’s firm and secure and warns me of danger (like I do with my children) it really is where I want to be though my human-gak-like self wants to escape through the fingers of where I am safest—restless. Comfort: God is always grasping for me and my affections. He wants me and to hold me in His grasp. 

    He always reaches for me.

    STOP

    Okay. That was HARD and actually more like 10 minutes. But I love what got squeezed out of my brain through my fingertips on the keys. God is always grasping for me and my affections. So grateful for that. 

    Wishing you all a wonderful weekend. 

    xo
    Amanda

    TWR: A Conclusion

    In sixth grade, a group of boys huddle around a table uttering low whispers and scoffing snickers. They were making a list of all the girls in the class, from biggest boobs to smallest boobs. And I was a girl with a training bra and nothing to train.


    Flat. As. A. Board.

    I wanted to melt into my blue plastic chair. Please God don’t let them put me last on that list.
    A few agonizing minutes later, the boys began to disperse. The list was complete. My 6th-grade-fate had been decided. My worth had been determined. I walked over to take a peek at the list. I started at the top and scanned down. Please not the last name. Please not the last name.

    And I wasn’t there. I didn’t make the list. My worst nightmare had been being last, deemed the girl with the smallest boobs. A far worse reality took shape. I didn’t even make the list. I wasn’t worth mentioning. I was completely unnoticed.

    I bought into the age old lie—the same one Eve bought into when the serpent told her that God had withheld knowledge from her, that the fruit would make her like God—you are not enough.

    I spent my teenage years listening to that lie. You are not enough. You are not smart enough, pretty enough… you will never amount to anything. You will never accomplish anything. I listened to that lie and with it came a striving heart. I tried so hard to be something special, important, beautiful, wanted—someone no one would overlook. Someone who would make the top of any list some boys would make. I shoved the things about myself that I thought held me back into a dark corner and pretended to be someone else. And while God has dealt with much of this in my adult years, all this striving, trying to be something, is why I find waiting so hard. If I am waiting… if I wear no ministry title, if I am not a big name in the blogging world, if I have nothing published with my name on it… if all I am is a 10-year-old-sedan driving mom of 2 who can barely keep her house clean,then maybe it’s true… maybe I’m not enough.
    I want to be noticed. I want accomplishments. I don’t want to bury my dreams in soil and wait. No one will see me here. I will never be enough. I will never be worth anything.

    We believe that “Faith without works is dead,” but I think there is a dangerous lie the enemy would like to sell us by twisting that truth in our minds. I hear it constantly (I say it and pray it constantly), “I just want to be used by God.” And sure, this can be a noble plight, but somewhere in this is the lie that we are not enough and in order to be enough we must DO something. Striving. We say it’s for God’s glory, but the fact of the matter is that we fight the age old battle on the fields of our heart: to bring God glory or to bring our own self glory.

    Our glory is achieved by DOING—striving.

    God’s glory is achieved by bowing low—allowing Him to DO all the DOING.

    In waiting, God breaks down the lie that you aren’t enough because He loves you just as you are and you don’t have to do anything to earn that love. In waiting, God also breaks down the lie that you are enough because apart from Him you can’t do anything. It’s just striving. You need Him. And you need His timing. In waiting, you kneel down, bow low and succumb your lumpy-clay-self to the potter’s hands that mold and shape you.

    God keeps whispering to me, “Find your place in me, Amanda.” Friends, that is the single most important thing you can do with your life: discover just how much God loves you—He loves you like I tell my kids at bedtime—“to the moon and back, with all [His] heart, no matter what”—NO. MATTER. WHAT. Whether you do great things, small things, a bunch-of-mistake things, or nothing at all—you hold Your Father’s gaze. He sees you. He loves you. You are enough. You don’t have to DO anything to earn it. You have it. Slow your strive. Rest in this.

    Find your place in Him.

    The other day, I came across a song on waiting. MUMFORD! (Anyone else love Mumford and Sons??) It spoke to me.

    So take my flesh
    And fix my eyes
    That tethered mind free from the lies

    But I'll kneel down
    Wait for now
    I'll kneel down
    Know my ground

    Raise my hands
    Paint my spirit gold
    And bow my head
    Keep my heart slow
    I will wait. I will wait for you.

    I picked up my son, grabbed the hand of my daughter and we spun around the living room doing some kind of riverdance, two-stepping hoedown. Somehow in that, I saw it: I am here in this moment. I am mom. I am wife. I am beautiful and complete and lacking nothing. My heart is full. I can shake off the humanity that makes me strive, that can’t be content. I am doing exactly what was purposed for me to do and holding it full in my hands. He placed me amongst the sticky arms of an Addy and a Jed (and I only get to be there for so long.) My place isn’t found in titles, or here on the web. It’s in Him. It’s in Him!!! Somehow in dancing around my living room, my spirit was kneeling, surrendering, knowing it’s ground—waiting for now. And yet, fully living.

    In order to live, you first must die.

    I have heard this before: when you feel like no doors are open for you, praise Him in the hallway.

    Praise in spite is surrender. And surrender is fully living.

    Yes.

    I really can wait.

    I really can bury my dreams.

    I am falling in love with my God. He is Good. And He is worth waiting for.
    (Thank you dear friend, you know who you are, for that last beautiful sentiment :))

    As this series winds down, I would love to hear YOUR conclusion. What has God taught you in this waiting room??

    I can't thank you enough for being here with me. I really appreciate you, friends!!

    Amanda

    P.S. Did you see the post where I asked for your stories??? Consider sharing yours with us (anonymous is perfectly acceptable--you can even email me from an email account that's something like hotgirl85 or whatever so it will be anonymous to me too. Ha! Oh, and I will also have a link up for my bloggy friends that want to share their story with their readers too). See here for the heart behind it and the guidelines.
    See you back here on Tuesday for the waiting room link up and maybe even some stories of YOURS! So glad to shut up and let YOU talk for a change. Ha!!

    For your listening pleasure: Mumford and Sons, "I Will Wait." Grab your loved ones by the hands and crazy dance?? :)


    In case you missed the other parts of the series and want to get caught up, here are the links:
    And as a reminder, I love comments (I love hearing from you!). I love getting emails too: conqueringhousewife{at}the-cadence{dot}com. 
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