12 Signs You Might Be the Mom of a Toddler


I know. 

You don't actually need a list to tell you if you are the parent of a toddler. But it might be fun to see you aren't the only one (if you have a toddler), see what you are in for (should you want to have toddlers one day), or remember what life was once like (when you had toddlers).

Here's a very real glimpse into the Conquering house.


You might be the mom of a toddler if:
  1. Your vacuum canister has more cheerios and goldfish in it than actual dirt.
  2. Your house is only clean at naptime and bedtime (and if you are really honest, only one or two naptimes or bedtimes a week).
  3. Your dining chairs are often turned over on their sides either to keep your child from dancing on the dining room table or to use as a make shift baby-gate.
  4. Your diet now primarily consists of goldfish, cheerios, chicken nuggets, apple sauce, bananas and cheese… and anything else you can manage to get your child to eat that's green and/or helps with the daily BM.
  5. You count how many times your child has a BM.
  6. Me talking about BM’s doesn’t faze you.
  7. Your shoulders constantly have either mushy crumbs on them, snot, or drool… or all three.
  8. You count going to the bathroom by yourself as a source of joy.
  9. You understand what “duh,” “guh,” and “bah” mean. You also understand that they can have different meanings depending on where you are and how it’s spoken.
  10. The first places you look when your remote controller goes missing are the trash can, the dishwasher, the toy bin, the drawers in your kitchen, and maybe even the toilet on a particularly rough day.
  11. The only way you arrive on time anywhere is if you start attempting to leave one whole hour before you actually need to leave to get there on time.
  12. You've brushed cheerios off of someone's rump today (including your own).

And here's two very toddler pictures of my cheerio-butt-fashion, goldfish-eating, mess-making, climbing-and-making-his-momma's-heart-stop and the source of all kinds of joy in our house--Jed.
















This conquering housewife has been feeling a little defeated lately. I needed to laugh and appreciate some really simple things in life.

Want to add to the laughs and/or the realness? I would love it if you'd share: How can you tell you or someone you know has a toddler?

xo
Amanda