For when you feel defeated...

If I am to be brutally honest, I struggle with complacency.

Maybe we all do?

I think of snowglobes—the way you can stir them up and they are beautiful, but there’s something in them that wants to “settle down.” While it’s being shaken the glitter and the snow go all directions, and the minute you set that globe down, the glitter and the snow begin to fall, settle down, return to order. 

photo credit

 

Who wants to live all stirred up? 

Who wants to live in a snow storm?

Friends, I have been “stirred up.” Unforseeable little life storms, one after another. I feel shaken, raw. But in it, I realize just how settled down I was. Complacent. In my parenting, in my marriage, in my life. I was just okay, and just okay being just okay.

And now,

Now, it’s time to fight.

Fight for my marriage. Fight for my kids. Fight for myself.

Fight that stinking enemy that comes to kill, steal and destroy.

I think of the fight movies from the 80’s—the ones where the hero encounters a bully/bad guy of some kind, realizes he needs to learn to fight, and then cheesy fight music get’s cued while the hero goes into training. 

Someone needs to cue my cheesy fight music. I’ve got to learn to fight.

photo credit

And really, everything in this life of any real value, will have to be fought for. You want your marriage to last—you gotta fight for it. You want your kids to know God and how to live for Him—you gotta fight for it. You want to live your life for God—yep, you gotta fight for it. Maybe you don’t like what I am telling you. But remember that whole Armor of God thing from Sunday School (Ephesians 6 ring a bell?)?? Yeah, that’s in the Bible for a reason. ;)

When you feel defeated. When you feel like things are falling apart. When life feels out of control.

It’s time to fight.

Don't be complacent. Put on your metaphorical 80's sweat band and your big girl panties too and Fight!

Alright, so here is me getting my Mr. Miyagi on and giving you a list of ways to fight.

1. Know who/what you are fighting. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places” ((Ephesians 6:12) Don’t fight your kids when they are rotten… fight FOR them. Fight the enemy that wants them. Don’t fight your husband when he makes a butthead move… fight FOR him. Don’t beat yourself up when you make mistakes. Realize you are battling your humanity and the enemy that wants you. (This isn’t me saying, however, to excuse bad behavior; “The Devil made me do it.”)
2. Cry Out.If you read the Old Testament of the Bible, you will find a whole lot of the phrase “cry out.” And immediately following that phrase you will find God showing up. I don’t know why it works, but I do know that God hears our cries. And when we match our desperation for Him with the loudness of our cry, He shows up. This past weekend I fought for peace and my son as I drove to the hospital after my son managed to locate and open a bottle of Nyquil. I cried out. God showed up. And while my son hadn't drank enough to be a problem, I also didn't lose my peace waiting to find out. I fought for both out loud: "God I need you right now!"
3. Bible. Pray. Repeat. Yep. I hate to give a simple pat answer, but this is the “wax on, wax off” move of spiritual warfare. Try reading in Ephesians if you don’t know where to start. If you don’t know how to pray—try this: Find a quiet spot (or put on some music if you have some mind-wandering tendencies). Have a pen and paper handy for any random thoughts that may pop up in your head (like grocery list item, appointment, need-to-do). Talk to God. No really. All that’s in your heart. Give Him a chance to speak. Be quiet. Try journaling too. 
4. Do what you least feel like doing. 

• When life gets hard, do you tend to hide? Crawl out from under that rock, and ask for help. Find some friends and hang out with them. Even consider being vulnerable (just make sure you’ve chosen the right friends for this). 
• When life gets hard to you tend to run? Sit still, quiet yourself, pray. It may take a while for you to “chill out” but sit quiet until you do. Don’t go anywhere until you’ve heard from God. 
• When life gets hard do you tend to pick fights? Realize you are not fighting anyone (see point 1). Don't talk. Be quiet. Grab the people who you are the most angry with and pray with them, for them, ask them to pray for you.

Fighting isn't all that fun. But you know what is awesome in it? When you realize you aren't supposed to actually fight your husband, but fight the enemy with him; when you realize you aren't supposed to actually fight your kids, but fight the enemy with them; when you realize you aren't supposed to actually beat yourself up, but fight the enemy that is plaguing you, trying to tell you how much you suck at life... when you grab the hands of the one's you love most, even in the midst of the greatest snow storm... love huddles you close. Inseparable bonds are formed in storms. Love conquers all.

And these three things prevail: faith, hope, and love. And the greatest of these is love.

Have any ways to fight to add to the list?

I may have time to share a favorite recipe later today. We shall see.

But I shall see you all tomorrow for my big announcement :) 

xo
Amanda

Sharing this here:

I'm Not Sorry

There’s a phrase I find myself saying far too much: “I’m sorry.”

Now this is a very handy phrase if you think about it. When you do something wrong or on accident, there it is, remorse and sympathy all rolled into one phrase: “I’m sorry.”

I find myself saying it when I do stuff right though.

“I’m sorry the house is such a mess” (when it’s a mess because I chose to take the kids to the park instead of cleaning so they could get the fresh air they needed).

“I’m so sorry; I just can’t do that right now” (when I have to say no to a service opportunity that will take up time that needs to be spent with my family… the family who has a dad who is rarely home, a mom who is really tired and 2 kids who are really young and active).

“I’m sorry I’m late” (when I am running late because I have 2 kids to corral. And while I definitely need to work on starting to get out the door earlier, I cannot help all the unseen dilemmas that might plague my departure—lost keys, temper tantrums, or diaper disasters).

Truth be told, those sorries are just me living under the weight of expectations. Simply put: I just really want people to like me. I don’t want them to think I am an unhelpful and unpunctual slob. 

The crazy part of this is that I am fairly certain [most] people don’t notice such things or place expectations on me. So why do I always feel compelled to say sorry?? Could it be that I have my own set of expectations for myself? Could it be that there is a struggle inside of me—of fear? I am afraid I am not enough.

When I enter my messy abode, see the dishes, turn down someone’s request for help in the nursery at church, walk by the laundry pile that’s been there for 3 days, walk in late to a room full of people who managed to make it on time, I feel the weight—that “you aren’t good enough and you’ll never get it right.”

But, I need to not live under that weight. I need to not be sorry. Not because sorry isn’t a good thing. Sometimes it is a really good thing. But this girl needs to give herself permission to live free from my own expectations--permission to not "have it all together." I need to not think so little of myself—I am not an unhelpful, unpunctual slob.

I need to be free to choose the better thing—the thing that builds up those most precious to me rather than please the ones whose opinions might judge me. Everyone has only 24 hours each day—24 hours to devote to whatever one chooses. My 2 littles need a whole lot of those hours. They are little. They will only be little once. 

 

Someone once told me, “your no is just as spiritual as your yes… and sometimes even morespiritual.” No can be freeing. No lives outside of people’s opinions and expectations. No says you know what you are supposed to do and what you are not supposed to do. (And, of course, like many things there are the instances that one can overuse No, but I think you get the point.)

Sometimes one needs to say No to cleaning the house… and yes to playing with the kids.

Sometimes one needs to say No to service opportunities… and yes to family time.

Sometimes one needs to say No to rushing out the door in a mad frenzy… and yes to peace.

And sometimes one needs to not apologize for any of it. (Okay, so I am not actually advocating rudeness. Say "I'm sorry" if appropriate. Just don't apologize to yourself for keeping the best things first. No need to shout "No! And I'm not sorry about it either!" at the poor nursery volunteer. I wish there was a phrase in the English language that conveyed sympathy and love, while at the same time also indicating personal freedom from expectations.)

Amanda, you are doing an awesome job. You love on your kids. You keep the most important things first. In Him, You are enough. He will be your Strength if you cry out for help. You were chosen for Addy and Jed. You were chosen for Michael, and every day since 2005 Michael chooses you. You are enough! There will be dishes, there will be messes, you will get to them. Step out from under the weight of your own dang expectations, Amanda. Love your kids and your husband. And know, YOU ARE ENOUGH! {So stop apologizing like you aren’t enough}

This is my pep talk to myself. I thought perhaps someone else could benefit from it too.

Xo

Amanda

Sharing this here:

Thankful Thursday #17

Good Morning!

#217 Little brothers, big sisters, and swings

#218 Sap-sicles

#218 Boys who love the bath so much they want to stick everything they can find in it (like toilet paper rolls)

#219 Space to breathe and a good book to read. (Anything by Jennie Allen. One chapter in and I am loving it so far.)

#220 Glimpses of His splendor. (Addy: "Is that where Jesus lives, Mom??")

Wishing you all fabulous weekends!

xo
Amanda

Rainbow Birthday Party [Plus, Some Printables]

Good Morning!

I don't have much time to write, but I did want to quickly share Addy's 4th Birthday Party with you. I was hoping to have some pictures from the actual party, but I didn't take a single one. On a more positive note, one of my best friends was in attendance with her camera and took pictures for me. She is super awesome with the camera and with edits... but she is also a mom and a teacher and just started her school year. She's allowed to be slow at getting the pictures to me...especially since she's not charging :)

Anyways.

About that Rainbow party...

I have a small budget, like small as in just slightly above nothing, so I got creative, made just about everything, and did not go overboard. (Anyone else feel a little overwhelmed by looking at Pinterest for party ideas? Great ideas... but seriously, the thought of all the time and money it takes to get a party to look like that... Overwhelming) So I guess this is the busy/frugal moms non-pinnable rainbow party. And I am REALLY okay with that! Ha!

Tissue Paper Poms- My sister helped me make these. Super easy, super cheap, and super big presence in a space. (We picked up 2 multi-color tissue paper value packs at the local dollar store. $2!) 

Rainbow cake- I found rainbow twizzlers at the store and knew I would do something with them. I had big ideas for somehow making them arch like a rainbow over the cake. My sister looked at me and was like "Dude, Amanda, just cut them and put them around the cake." She's really smart. That's exactly what I did. I used rainbow cake mix from a box for the cake and added a homemade raspberry filling to the center plus a white-chocolate cream cheese frosting. Delicious!!

Birthday Banner- I cut triangles (6"x7") out of scrapbook paper and then made up some circle letter cut-outs on the computer. Joy of Joys! I figured out how to share them too should you want to make your own birthday banner. (They'll be at the bottom of this post)

My Cheapest/Best Decorating Idea: I had gotten Addy watercolors a few weeks prior to the party. She wanted to paint everyday. And the pictures were super colorful. (And so fun to see her imagination at work!) So I used them as decorations. Rainbow colors? Check. Free? Check. Grandparents get to "ooh" and "aah" over grandkid? Check.

I hung up by banner and the pictures by stringing some ribbon and attaching the pictures and the pendants with miniature clothespins. Super easy set-up and clean-up and very re-useable. (Mini clothespins were in craft section at my local Walmart)

Favor Bags- I used regular sandwich bags that attached a printable I made (that I am sharing with you too). "Thanks for Bringing the Sunshine to my Party" <---cute, right?? The super nerdy former teacher in me added a cheesy weather/rainbow joke to each of the bags. I put the answer to the joke on the bottom of the bag.

What kind of shorts do clouds wear??.............. Thunderwear!!!      Hardy-har-har-har :)

Hey, and thanks for bringing the sunshine to this blog each week!

xo
Amanda


Printables:
Just click link to bring up Google Document that you can print from.


Rainbow Party Birthday Banner

Rainbow Party Favor Bag

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An Announcement and a Call to Fight Your Frump (along with me)

When I got pregnant with Addy, I got a terrible bout with morningall day sickness. It took so much energy to just do anything and I felt so horrible that I stopped wearing make-up and started wearing things like sweat pants… in public. And though I am well-recovered from pregnancy (Ha!), I only wear make-up once a week, I only really dress up once a week, and only all of that if I happen to be on stage at church on Sunday. (I used to do all that something like 5 days a week prior to raising children).

We haven’t had much money for new clothes in years, I scrap what I can. I am not a huge fan of much of my clothes.

I rarely go anywhere anymore. I get up and spend time with Jesus and then writing so my getting ready routine is rushed and happens with kids at my feet.

I got really into running and then let it fall off the map in the winter when it was just too cold to want to be outside before the sun. I haven’t really exercised since.

You all hearing the list of excuses?

The other day I had a meltdown, one of those “I am failing at life and I think I am ugly” meltdowns. It wasn’t pretty. Something clicked in me though.

I keep coming across things like Sarah Mae’s Frumps to Pumps, and I think to myself, Yeah, I probably need to work on that. But not right now. I'm too busy. I will work on that later.

Meltdown had. It’s time.

It’s time to Fight My Frump. 

It’s time to not hide behind excuses. It’s time to make myself more of a priority. It’s time to get in the habit of doing the little bit it takes to feel good about oneself.

{I wrote a post that happens to be a favorite of mine a year ago all about the importance of feeling sexy. Yeah, I need to feel sexy.}

I mentioned this on Facebook to find that it seemed to really resonate with some people. And, I thought maybe I'm not the only one? why do it alone? Wouldn’t it be awesome to have some girl-friend accountability? Some cheerleaders?

My pastor’s wife believes it takes 21 days to make anything a habit.

So, for the remainder of the month of August, I am going to work on making getting ready—feeling beautiful!—and exercise a priority. My personal challenge: Put on make-up, do something to my hair (anything), and wear clothes that I like at least 4 days a week. Also, exercise 3 days a week (20-40 minutes of raising the heart rate).

Here’s what I envision:

I am setting up a closed facebook group (closed means everything that happens in the group stays in the group. It’ll never show up on your timeline/wall or in anyone’s newsfeed. No one other than group members can see what you post. I may change the group’s setting to private after the start date so no one can even see who is in the group. I’d start it like this, but then you'd have trouble finding the group and joining it.) I am calling the group “Fight Your Frump.”

See here’s the real vision: How cool would it be to be in a short term group (i.e. just a little commitment for the busy woman) that would have a small number of other women from all different parts of the country? How cool would it be to have a place where you could be real, ask for encouragement and prayer? How cool would it be to have a place where your experience and encouragement is needed too (bring out that inner cheerleader!)?

See, I don’t want this to be the Amanda Show (I think there used to be one of those on Nickelodeon ages ago, ha!) where it’s all about me and what I am doing and sharing. Oh most Holy girl! I am used of the Lord to write things that are holy!... Yeah… NO! I just happen to love to write. And God just happens to keep giving me things to write. And I have this opportunity because I am connecting with you to create a space where YOU can offer up your gifts to encourage other women too. This conquering housewife needs your encouragement just as much as you may need hers. I think we all need each other.

There are only 2 rules that are set in stone:

1. What happens on the group page, stays on the group page.
2.  No bashing or discouraging.

I will remove you from the group in 2 seconds flat should either of these things happen.

I do have some other rules, but they aren’t set in stone. They are just things that I think will keep the group moving forward in a good direction… Like guidelines. (So if you have a busy week and are unable to get to the group’s page, hey, we still love ya and we’ll catch ya next week.)

1. Commit to posting a 2 sentence intro and your goals for the 3 weeks. (We want to know you and how to encourage you!) 
2. Commit to posting your progress 2 times a week.
3. Commit to commenting on 2 posts from other people every time you visit. (like 2-3 x’s a week)
4. Consider our group as you read your Bible, come across things in life and the internet and consider sharing them with us if it would make us laugh or encourage us or challenge us to encourage you.
5. I may ask some questions every now and again. Do chime in. Also, if you have an engaging question, do offer it up!

I hope that doesn’t sound like a lot of work. My thought is that this group would maybe require 5 minutes at a time a couple times a week. Doable, right?!

So… Want to be apart??

All you have to do is like the Conquering Housewife on Facebookand then use this link to our group’s page. Click the join button and upon my approval you will be added.

We will officially start MONDAY, August 13, 2012, and run through FRIDAY, August 31, 2012. (I know not a full 21 days, but it’s 3 full school/work weeks and I don’t want to take away from anyone’s Labor Day weekend… though the group will still be up should you still want to use it. I will probably have some nice closing thoughts on TUESDAY, September 4, 2012, to wrap up everything but the challenge itself will be over)

Too busy to make the commitment right now? Let me know! And maybe I can do this again another time during the year? Or maybe YOU could facilitate a group?

This group is kind of my guinea pig group to see how this goes. It may end up being just me and my mom (shout out to my supportive momma!) or maybe it’ll be big enough I will be splitting the group and asking one of YOU to facilitate one. This will be a learning process. Please be gracious and willing to provide honestfeedback. I’d sure appreciate it!So excited to see what happens with this!

Seriously looking forward to getting to know some of you better! (and feeling less frumpy too)

Amanda

 

P.S. Have questions? Feedback? Don't understand how Facebook groups work? Send me a private message through my facebook page or send me an email: conqueringhousewife(at)the-cadence(dot)com

P.P.S. Fellow blogger, like this idea as much as I do? Prayerfully use it! No need to link back to me or anything. But I would love to hear that this idea is resonating with other people. Would you tell me if you use the idea? Maybe even share how it goes? This idea has been on my heart and I took it as confirmation that it was time when I noticed Lisa-Jo doing something similar at (In)courage. It’s an awesome thing that we bloggers get to do?! Right?! 

Thankful Thursday #16

Hello friends!

I am super tired this morning, but my sails feel full of wind. Little-Big God ideas and the ability to move forward in them. An announcement should be forthcoming this afternoon (unless I get to nap... because I will be swooping on that opportunity should it arrive!) or tomorrow morning.

Another announcement should follow sometime in the next week to reveal the series I have been working on. It's almost done. It'll run through the month of September.

Woot Woot! I can't wait :))

My gifts this week in pictures:

#201 Well-used watercolor trays

#202 The way creation points to the Creator

 #203 Boys and Dogs (and oh how I love that boy and that dog too)

#204 Making shadow shapes on the ground and making my sister take pictures of them... just because it's fun and I can.

 #205 Pink polka dot rain boots in the dirt

#206 Boys in shortalls that are too big and that are almost fully unsnapped at the bottom.

#207 For driving in pink sunsets, daughters that beg you to roll down the window, and the feeling of wind through your fingers... and the way it can be worship too.

#208 Sunsets in rearview mirrors.

#209 Sisters that bring you fresh produce... and dads that grow it

#210 The way even something like a spiderweb can be beautiful in the light of the sun.

Friends, have I ever said how much joy I get in the act of slowing down long enough to grab my camera, angle the picture, and just try to hold beauty within the grasp of a lens? Surely I am not a "good" photographer, and I really couldn't care less. (And I am am pretty sure there is a permanent smudge courtesy of Jed on the lens of my relatively inexpensive camera.) This simple thing--taking a picture--it fills me with joy. And there is nothing quite like consciously choosing to look silly by pulling over on the side of the road to snap a picture... it's freeing, especially from the cares of "what people will think?" Do you have something that fills you with joy... something that is easily and surprisingly an act of worship???

The verse that has been speaking to me this week: "In this world there will be struggles. But TAKE HEART! For I have overcome the world." John 16:33. Care to share what's been speaking to you??

Grace and Peace.
Amanda


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Made Monday: When Life Gives You Cucumbers...

Make Tzatziki!

What, you mean your not familiar with the saying? [Wink]

Hang out with me for a little while and you may learn that I have a particular passion for Mediterranean and Mexican food (Mexi-terranean? Medi-Mex? Maybe? I know... I'm a wee bit dorky... okay, retraction, a lot bit dorky. Ha!) I live in California, so Mexican cuisine is ample and divine and has been a part of my life since I was a wee thing. Mediterrean, not so much. I blame my second pregnancy for this love. I had only had like maybe 5 gyros (pronounced like "hero" if you are curious) total in my life, but in the middle of my pregnancy I wanted gyros... and things I had never really had much of, if at all: shawarma, falafel, tzatziki, hummus, taboule, pita. How does one crave something one has never had before?? I'm not sure, but how does a woman grow a life in her belly and then push that life out? Yeah, stumped there too. Pregnancy brings about all kinds of strange and miraculous.

Anyways. To the point. There's not much in the way of good old fashioned Mediterranean food here in Northern California. And I didn't come with a sweet little Greek yiayia (grandma, pronounced "yah-yah") to teach me how... so I researched, guessed created, had fun, and ate some really good food in that little kitchen of mine while pregnant.

1 year and 1 month after I got over my strange pregnancy cravings (i.e. gave birth),  I still majorly heart Mediterranean food.

So, since cucumbers are in abundance right now and this sauce is super simple and cucumber-full, I am going to teach you how to make Tzatziki (pronounced za-ZEE-key).

A little about tzatziki:

Tzatziki is a yogurt based sauce. It is super easy to make, and while it isn't really eaten by itself (though I would argue it tastes amazing with some pita chips) it can elevate all kinds of dishes.

It's almost like the Greek's version of Ranch dressing (well, sort of) except that it's light, healthy, and you can add the stuff liberally without totally thwarting your diet. It has a similar flavor profile to the cucumber sandwich (another great place to put cucumbers. YUM!). The cool refreshment of cucumber meets the creamy of yogurt and politely shakes hands with the warmth of garlic and the zing of dill. Good company made in that sauce!

To make tzatziki:

All you need is 1/2 cup of plain yogurt (greek preferred... and sour cream is reasonable substitute though not as kind on your waist), 1/2 a large cucumber, 1 tbs of fresh dill (of 1 tsp of dry dill), 1 minced garlic clove (or a 1/4 tsp of garlic powder), 1 tbs of lemon juice, salt and pepper to taste.

1. Peel and cut cucumber into fourths lengthwise. Remove seeds. Stick in food processor and process. You want the cucumber to be well-chopped--not quite minced and definitely not pureed.
2. Put all the ingredients in a bowl and mix.
3. That's it! Tastes good right away, even better after an hour in the fridge, and it's still yummy 2-3 days later.

Where I enjoy Tzatziki:

1. Lamb Gyro (or steak or chicken)

• Grill lamb steak till it's medium-rare to medium (trust me, from a medium to medium-well steak girl, lamb is best at medium-rare.) Cut into strips. Serve on a warm pita with feta, olives, lettuce, tomatoes, diced cucumber, hummus or tahini (pronounced ta-HEE-nee; almost like peanut butter except from sesame seeds. It's a Mediterranean condiment, just add a little water to it till is has a saucy consistency and sprinkle on your gyro), and, don't forget the crowing glory: TZATZIKI!

2. Taboule Wheat Salad with Grilled Chicken

Photo From here

• Check out this product (and no, I do not get paid to tell you this). I love this brand. The ingredients in this box are exactly what I would be putting in mine if I were to make it from scratch. No weird stuff. No preservatives. If you are looking for a filling yet healthy meal, I love this stuff. It's served cold, it's full of veggies (or can be, you add the cucumber and tomatoes), tastes amazing served over a bed of fresh greens like spinach or baby romaine. And FYI, this doesn't guarantee your child will like it, but Addy will eat it without the lettuce and, yep, you guessed it, with sour cream. (I can get my kid to each most anything if I add a dollop of sour cream).
• Serve with hot off the grill chicken or with cold left over chicken. Top with Tzatziki and serve with pita. Tip: to make dinner easy on yourself, try making double the chicken next time you make chicken. Store the leftover chicken in the fridge and serve it with this salad (or another one) later in the week. I love easy dinner nights!

3. Falafel

• Completely vegetarian balls of goodness. I had never had a falafel, didn't know where to try one, way super wanted to try one... SO I made them. I loved them. LOVE. And turns out, now that I have actually had a few made from actual people who are actually from the Middle East (Lebanon and Israel to be specific), mine were just as good. Falafels are usually made from chickpeas (garbanzo beans). They have all kinds of spicy wonderfulness thrown in the falafel "dough" 
• I serve mine fairly similarly to how I serve up a gyro... not necessarily how you would find it in a Israeli bazaar but good nevertheless (mostly just because I can't find a lot of Israeli condiments in my local grocer, and this mom of littles only stops at one, maybe two places for groceries. That's it. If they don't carry it, I don't use it.)
• Here's the link to the recipe I use.

If all the above suggestions are just a bit too out of your culinary comfort zone, consider just topping a piece of grilled chicken served alongside a light salad (something like spring greens, craisins, tomato, cucumbers and feta in a light vinegarette). Or try breathing some fresh life into your basic turkey sandwich by replacing the mayonaise and mustard with a generous spreading of tzatziki.

So, life giving you a whole lotta cucumbers? Here's a whole lotta reason to make Tzatziki :)

Hope you enjoy as much as I do!
Amanda


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