How to Overcome (Part 1)

“The praise of God shall be on my lips and with my praise shall I overcome.”

I said it last week in My Proclamation.

And somehow I just know that’s exactly how I fight the depression, the fear, the confusion that I have been facing.

Praise is that upside-down, it-doesn’t-make-human-sense action, but for some reason the God whose ways are far above our own chooses to use it.

Praise demolished the walls of Jericho. The praise of 200 men defeated the army of Midian. The praise of Paul and Silas brought down the jail house. The praise of King Jehoshaphat and the people of Jerusalem destroyed the armies of Moab and Ammon.

I want to focus a little on Jehoshaphat. I’ve been thinking on this story for the past week.

Jehoshaphat hears the reports of a vast and quickly approaching army with the power to crush his small and unprepared military. He immediately calls for a fast and gathers the people of Jerusalem together. Then he cries out to God.

“If calamity comes upon us, whether the sword of judgment, or plague or famine, we will stand in your presence before this temple that bears your Name and will cry out to you in our distress, and you will hear us and save us.” 2 Chronicles 20:9

God answers through Jahaziel that they would go out and face the enemy, but they would not have to fight. After that word, Jehoshaphat falls on his face and worships God and the whole congregation with him.

The next morning, Jehoshaphat sets the instruments and the worshipers in front of the army. They offer up their praises with a loud voice. As they praise, the armies of Moab and Ammon become confused and fight each other… until every single foe is dead.

Judah won the battle by their praise.

                                                                                                                                                           

They cried out. They worshiped. And then they marched out to battle. Rather than keeping the reality of their enemy’s greatness in front of them, they placed their praises in front of them. They placed the words of God's greatness before them. They trusted God’s outcome. They surrendered their try-hard fight to the welling up of something deep inside of them… something deeper than their fears: hope in a mighty God.

I think of the old cartoon version of the movie, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. How at the moment the Grinch thought he had won, thought he had stolen Christmas, thought he had smothered joy, he begins to hear the sound of a Who-chorus. They were singing even though a thief had come to steal their Christmas spirit. And it totally confuses the Grinch. And it totally shatters the shell of his cold, hard heart.

“The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10).  Praise takes back what the enemy steals. Praise reminds the enemy of what he cannot have.

Some days life can strip you bare. Some days the enemy seems to win. But he cannot keep you from praising.

Whether you feel like a teetering Jenga tower with strong-willed children who seem to take turns pulling out your blocks till you feel like your grace and love are about to crumble…

Whether a life-changing circumstance has placed you in a dry land where the springs of peace seem to elude you…

Whether depression seems to be a weight around your neck that pulls you down into an abyss no matter how you fight…

Praise.

Praise.

PRAISE.

Praise confuses the enemy who seeks to devour. Praise makes the way for our Savior to swoop in and save the day. Praise denies what we see and fully relies on the One who can’t be seen.

Praise.

You are the Prince of Peace. The Mighty God. The Everlasting Father. You are worthy of praise. You are good. You are Holy. I love you. I long for You like a desert wanderer longs for water. Only You truly satisfy my soul. You are the God who loves me, adopted me, calls me your own. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You sent Your son to die for me, to conquer death and hell. I am bound by sin no longer. I am washed clean from the stain of guilt. Depression and fear have nothing on You. You give joy and peace. You give good gifts and I thank you for the good gifts You have given me.

Okay. So seriously. Go get your praise on. Maybe write some here so it can encourage all of us—one mighty band of brothers and sisters praising God in one place?? Sounds cool to me! :)

I will be back with part two of "How to Overcome" on Thursday. I’m kind of excited about it.

By Grace,

Amanda Conquers

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A Proclamation of a Conquering Housewife

After spending some months adjusting to the changes in my life and struggling through depression and fear, I felt like I needed to draw my line in the sand. So I wrote this proclamation.

My name is Amanda.

I am a child of the Most High God.

My adoption papers were drawn up and sealed in the very blood of Jesus Christ, Son of God. I didn’t choose God. He chose me. I am wanted, loved, and precious in the eyes of God.

Jesus died on the cross, rose again, and won the victory over death and sin. He gave me that victory. By the name of Jesus, I am MORE than a conquering housewife.

I draw my line in the sand. I rise up. And I say, “No More.”

No more depression. No more confusion. No more fear. 

You have been given your notice. You are not welcome.

I will not give in. I will not let up.

I will stand and fight.

I will do battle with you, depression, and, by the name of Jesus, I will be victorious.

When the battle rages and I grow weary, I will grab the hands of my brothers and sisters.

The praise of God shall be on my lips and with my praise shall I overcome.

For I put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, and, heaviness, you shall not prevail.

I will trust in the promises of God; for what God said He would do, He will be faithful to carry out. I will believe in what I cannot see… for what I can see is temporal, and what I cannot see is eternal. 

I place my life in the hands of God. I will do life WITH the Christ whose name is GOD WITH US. I will do life WITH the body of Christ… His Church.

I will not hide.

I will trust that the promises of God are Yes and Amen, that God will be faithful to carry them out, and that the callings of God are without repentance. My life will not be defined by what looks impossible today. My life will be defined by the very God-breathed promises of God Himself and I will trust that the Word that spoke creation into being will bring them to pass. 

I will keep myself close to God.

And if I am close to God, how could I possibly miss His voice? 

I will rest.

I will count my relationship with God as most precious and my marriage and my children second to no other.

I will extend my parenting, my housework, my friendships, my writing grace because grace is a free gift I have been given. I receive it.

I will give up my ideals. I will give up on perfect. I will pick up my cross and follow Christ.

I will stop trying to mend my broken pieces and I will lay them at the feet of Jesus. 

I will stop judging my brothers and sisters for the ground at the foot of the cross is even for all.

I will do what I enjoy. I will feel comfortable in the clothes I wear, in the car I drive, with the words I speak. I will be me. 

I am Amanda, child of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend. I am exquisite. I was made for love. And I am loved. I was made for living. I was made for conquering.

And especially emphatic this time, like if this wasn’t on the computer, it would be triple-quadruple underlined and then circled five times:

By Grace,

Amanda Conquers

When Following Christ Doesn't Make a Lick of Sense

I am a “big-picture” person. I try to take the little fragments of my life and relationships and try to fit them into a big picture. I want to know that it’s all going to work out in the end. I want to understand the purpose in everything.

I remember being eleven in a youth service and hearing the call of God to be a missionary. As I grew older, I found a passion for the inner city—for the poor, the hopeless, and the gangster. When I began a relationship with Michael, I remembering questioning God: This doesn’t make sense. His call is not the same. How are you going to work it all out?

I heard God tell me very clearly and simply, “Trust Me.” And I did. I took that leap of faith and fell madly in love with my husband. And I love him even more madly today (and I still like him too). But for the entirety of our relationship, I have tried to make sense of our differences. I have tried to figure out a way that God could work it so that we could both be walking in our calling and that somehow our callings would work together. And since he’s taken this job in law enforcement, it’s felt a little like dying. I can’t figure out how God could possibly work it together. I can’t see the end result. (Okay and please don’t mishear. I am super proud of my husband. I am writing through my struggle of learning to trust God.)

I know that I serve a God whose ways and thoughts are far above human reasoning. But I think I fail to realize this applies to me. Gods ways didn’t make sense to Abraham, Moses, Gideon, Ruth, Hannah, David, Esther, Zechariah, Mary, Peter, Paul… pretty much everyone who God used in the Bible. I am fairly certain, I am not exempt. I will not be able to fathom God’s plans. I won’t be able to see the end result.

I will have to trust.

I will not be able to control the outcome.

I will need that substance of things hoped for and evidence of things not seen.{faith} 

There’s this passage in John that I keep thinking on (John 6:26-71). The disciples of Jesus were so impressed by his miracle of feeding the 5000 that they began asking him how they could see more of this. They asked for signs, they wanted to see so that they might believe. Jesus tells them that He is the bread of life. And then he goes on to tell them something that disturbs them:

“Unless you eat my body and drink my blood you cannot be my disciples.”

The Christ-followers are dumb-founded. Eat his body?! Drink his blood?! Surely Jesus didn’t mean that, like that… right?!

They wanted the miracles. They wanted that glorious, you-are-special-chosen-and-called-disciple-of-Jesus-Christ! You eat manna, you see miracles, and it’s amazing! They didn’t want the gospel that is unfathomable. They didn’t want blind faith. They wanted to SEE. They wanted it to MAKE SENSE.

And their response to Jesus’ way? “This is a hard statement,” and they go their separate way. They couldn’t follow Christ any longer.

I think of communion. 

 

This word that can mean eating the symbolic bread-for-flesh and blood-for-wine. This word that also means a deep sense of being and relationship.

“Unless you eat my body and drink my blood you cannot be my disciples.”

“If any of you wants to be my disciple, you must take up your cross daily and follow me.”

“Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.”

I think of my dreams. I think of the way I can mix up this desire for a holy purpose (a calling) with knowing the voice of the One Who calls. I think of the way I try to do all of the sense-making when I am following a God who delights in doing that which makes no human sense.

I think of the way I still try to control God.

I fail to walk in communion—to eat his flesh and drink his blood. I refuse to allow him to be the only thing that satisfies. I live feeding my pride—thinking that I need to know, see, understand—thinking God needs me to figure it out for Him. I refuse to die so that I might live.

And it’s a hard thing. Who can follow?

I have a choice. I can turn away from following because I don’t want to believe in what I cannot see and does not make sense. Or I can take up my cross, walk in communion with Christ, and follow—destination unknown.

I keep coming back to the words of Peter when Jesus asks the twelve disciples if they would leave Him also, “Where would we go Lord? Only You have the words that give life. We have believed and know that you are the Christ, the Son of God.”

Amen.

Sometimes I completely stink at this whole Jesus-follower thing. But where else would I go? Only Jesus has the words that give life. 

Only. Jesus.

Jesus, I am letting go of control.

I choose You.

By Grace,

Amanda Conquers

 

Because I Kind of Stink at Change

I think I needed to take a break... because I sure have been taking one!

I've been spending a lot of time with my family. I've been remembering just how day-changing gift-counting, eucharisteo and picture-taking were for me and I am going back to those basics. It's a perfect time too... spring has arrived in California!

We are moving in less than two weeks, the church I've called home for over 12 years just merged with another church in a different city, and my husband hits the streets for the first time tonight. I knew I didn't handle change well, and this month is just confirming how terrible I am at it.

I am giving myself permission to hide out for a bit even if it means leaving things undone (I still have a post for the Crazy Obedience series and an interview I'd planned to share). I think sometimes you just need to give yourself permission to grieve the things that are no longer. (Thank you reader who offered that bit of personal advice... I could sense God's words to me in it!)

"I'm a MOOOOSE, Momma."

I just wanted to let you know I'm still here. I pray for you all. And I probably need your prayers too.

I have been praying through some new things for here, like a domain change (something much simpler), an ebook that I am hoping to offer for free, and some ways that I could earn a little money writing/blogging.

My Handsome Men. Jed's looks are changing... bittersweet. Looking more and more like a boy, less and less like a baby.

 
I am wondering if I could ask you: Would you want to read a book on a spirit of heaviness (i.e. depression--you know, that feeling of being overwhelmed by life and/or motherhood, like you can't get anything right, like you just feel weary all the time...) and daily ways to conquer it?? Something that has short, sweet and very accessible devotions with a daily challenge? Could I ask you to tell me your honest thoughts? (Thank you in advance!)

I've started writing again so I hope to see you soon... though it is quite possible I may need to wait till after the move. :)

Writing in the SUN! Thankful for the warm weather :)

 
You are loved and missed!

By Grace,
Amanda Conquers

I was trying to capture my daughter dancing in what I thought would make for some artsy lighting. When I looked back through the pictures, I discovered my daughter doing the butt-wiggle at me. What a ham! :)

In Which I Fess Up...

So today, I need to fess up.

"Hi. My name is Amanda. And I am struggling with 'Crazy Obedience'."

Before I started this series, I had some doors open in my family’s life. And now we are walking in those realities. And I’m struggling.

Two weeks ago, I sat in on a stress management and the law enforcement career class with my husband. It felt like I slammed into the brick wall of reality of what it means to be a cop and a cop’s wife. 

In the midst of this, we have some major church changes on the horizon, I have some decisions to make about my involvement in the church, and it is time for us to move to a larger place. 

3 big moves in the same month. And what I thought I would be excited over… I am terrified about. I am like Peter, who upon getting out of the boat and walking on water to Jesus, glances at the wind and becomes full of fear. Amanda of little faith… here I have opened these doors, performed miracles, am full in your life… and you are afraid of wind?!  Why do you doubt?

And don’t get me wrong, I am excited for my husband. I see the passion for bringing justice and peace stirring in him. I guess I feel paralyzed with fear. How will being a cop change Mike? Will I be the wife that he needs me to be? How will it affect our kids and the way we parent? How will it challenge our marriage?

And then there’s the pity party, I am in the midst of throwing: This isn’t how I saw my life going, God. I never wanted to be a cop’s wife. And what about all the dreams you placed in my heart? How could you possibly work them out now? 

What I once sensed God calling me towards, I just straight don’t feel like doing. 

Apparently I don’t handle change well. (At. All.)

I want the control back. I don’t want to trust. I want to know the end result. 

I think of some of the things I wrote while I was doing the Waiting Room series awhile back:

“I have been wrestling. I am fighting God. I don’t want to let go. I don’t want to leave my dreams alone. I want to hold on to what used to be. I don’t want to move forward. I am afraid. Without realizing it, I am closing my hand and throwing my fist at God, and telling Him this isn’t good enough. 
 

I don’t want to let go of my dreams. I don’t want to die. 

And here it is: 

          “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (John 12:24, NASB).

I am clinging to the “what if’s” instead of God. What if it doesn’t work out? What if we fail? What if you never raise my dreams to life, God?

 

I am nothing like Abraham who left his country for a place that was yet unknown to him. I want to know where I am going and exactly what it’s going to look like. I want guarantees… and I guess I have to admit that apparently the Bible and God's promises suddenly became not good enough.

I have allowed the enemy to mess with me, and, for the past two weeks, I have clammed up. I don’t know how to talk about it with friends. I don’t want to do anything. My house is a wreck. I am not being the kind of mother I want to be. I am battling depression. {Actually it would probably be more accurate to say depression showed up and I welcomed it in. I am not battling it.}

And I am not exactly sure where to go from here.

But I do know that the enemy loves to dwell in darkness. His lies appear as truth in darkness. We feel isolated in darkness. 

So I am bringing it to the light. Here it is. I am broken. I am unsure. I am afraid. I need my Savior. I need you too.

I am a girl who set out to bring you all a series on Crazy Obedience because I heard God’s prompting. Turns out, the whole series might have just been for me. I need to walk in Crazy Obedience.

So that said, remember how I may have mentioned that I was going to wrap up the series with some interviews and testimonies? And remember how I said I have been depressed and haven’t done much of anything? Yeah. God asked me to. I’ve been lazy. I am going to finish what I started, even if it is a week later than planned. I have a feeling God wants to speak to me through it (and maybe you too).

Thanks so much for listening. 

By Grace,

Amanda Conquers

To read all the posts in the series, click the graphic.

An Interview with Kat Lee {A Crazy Obedience Post}

This week for the Crazy Obedience series, I get to share a few real life stories from real life people who are living real lives of Crazy Obedience.

A few weeks back I attempted to calm some stomach-in-my-throat nerves, took a big gulp, and emailed Kat Lee. God so put her on my heart as someone I wanted to interview and ask about her life and what Crazy Obedience means to her. She emailed me back in less than 15 minutes.


I met Kat Lee at the Allume conference. I had no idea who she was until some of my fellow small bloggers used very hushed tones to inform me who that blogger was that I kept running into, "That's Kat Lee of Hello Mornings and InspiredToAction!" I replied with a very cool, "Oh," as though I knew exactly what all that was (I didn't).

I ended up taking her break out session at Allume, "How to Change the World during Naptime." I was inspired by her passion for Jesus and for empowering women to change their corner of the planet. I will never forget sitting in the break-out when someone asked her about earning an income blogging or with e-books. Kat Lee responded with a very meek, "I do it all for free. I do it because I love it and I believe in it and it's what God is asking me to do." This woman is the real deal! (And by the way, you can check out her FREE ebooks at her blog, InspiredToAction. They might just change you and your mornings ;)


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1. Would you tell us a little bit about your family? 

My husband Jimmy and I have been married for almost 14 years. Wow. I don't quite feel old enough for that to be true but it is. He is amazing. Strong, steady, wise - just what a man should be. I'm so thankful for him.

We have three kids. Two girls and a boy. We joke that he has three mothers.

My oldest girl is 10 and she is passionate. That is an immense challenge and profound blessing all wrapped up into one. I feel as though I've been given a superhero to raise and sometimes I'm not quite sure I'm doing her justice. But God is good and gracious, and I trust he will fill in all my gaps and use her incredible gifts for His glory. I love the deep conversations we are able to have about life and faith.

My youngest daughter is 8 and I think she is more responsible than I am. She is sweet and steady like her father. Her hugs are like Kryptonite against my ability to get her to bed on time. She is snuggly and adorable - with an inner strength that is not to be messed with.

My little boy is 5 and he is a handful of awesomeness. He has every female in our home wrapped around his little finger. He wants to be a doctor so that he can fund is race car driving career. 


2.  If, say, your parents took the kids for an hour, your husband was away working, and you had no obligations… how would you spend that hour of time?

If I was home alone…I'd play my favorite songs really loudly and play along on my guitar. Since my husband works from home, I'm rarely ever anywhere by myself. Not that I'm complaining. I LOVE that he is at home with us, but those rare occasions when I can turn music up loudly and be entirely by myself - those are quite the treat.


3.  What is the one “mom-job” you totally stink at or strongly dislike?

Cleaning. Particularly maintenance cleaning. If I'm going to clean, I'd rather clean up a disaster area that gives me a before and after transformation feeling of satisfaction. It's hard for me to clean…just to keep it clean. Weird, I know.


4.  What are your top 2 biggest fears?

Heights and throwing up. Consequently, I don't do carnival rides.


5.  Why do you do what you do online?

I love, love, love to encourage people. I love the idea of God using my simple words to ignite something in peoples' hearts that fuels change in their lives and their homes.


6.  Would you be willing to give us a glimpse into your walk with God? How does He speak to you? How do you “stay fresh?”

Honestly, I feel I hear Him best when I'm running or doing dishes. I can be a "Doer" - an energizer bunny that just keeps going and thinking. But when I'm running or doing dishes, my brain is quiet enough to listen.

I also love music and connect with God in the midst of worship.

I think the key for me, is just to take time to be still and listen for Him. He is always speaking.


7.  I would love to hear you define Crazy Obedience in your own words. What does it mean to you?

I think Crazy Obedience is doing something that doesn't make sense apart from God. It's doing something that can only be seen clearly through a lens of faith.


8. Can you think of a time when God asked you to do something that didn’t make sense to you?? Would you share what He asked of you? How did it turn out?

Actually, starting InspiredToAction was a step of crazy obedience for me. I knew God wanted me to focus the site on motherhood - helping and encouraging moms. But I never even knew my mom, and there are few things I know less about than motherhood. I had no idea what I was doing. But God knew I was passionate about it, and He has used it powerfully.

He used the blog to orchestrate my spot a Compassion bloggers trip to the Philippines so that I could meet my mother's family for the first time.

I love how He took my place of weakness and fear and used it as a story of His redeeming grace and goodness.


9.  I know you are a stay at home mom, as am I and many of my readers. We have talked about how crazy obedience can also be found in being intentional in each opportunity. Sometimes as a mom, it feels like our opportunities are few. How do you share Jesus and make disciples with kiddos and school and sports and dinner and cleaning and everything else a mom does in her day?? Is there anything you do (or don’t do) that you are very intentional about?

I'm in a season right now where I am very intentional about relationships. I want my children to see my relationship with God as I read the Word each morning. I want to bring them alongside and show them what walking with God throughout the day looks like (as best I can).

I also want to make sure that I always surround myself with a Paul, Barnabas and Timothy - people I'm learning from, walking with and investing in.

All the knowledge and books will never replace the value of one on one investment. By focusing on my daily connection with God, my kids and others I'm weaving accountability and mentoring into my day to day life. It's not always simple and it often requires me to step outside of my comfort zone, but the return on this simple investment has been profound.

It's not exactly wild, bold, move-across-the-world crazy obedience but I believe it's what God has called me to in this season of life. I want to intentional show my children how to lay the foundation to hear God and cultivate relationships that push us closer to Him.
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I loved how Kat defined Crazy Obedience. I also loved the story she shares in #8. Did you catch that? Talk about God using something that didn't make sense at the time and turning it around for His Glory and as a means of blessing!

What stood out to you as you read the interview??


By the way, um... if you haven't checked out HelloMornings or InspiredToAction... Do.That.Now. :)


By Grace,
Amanda Conquers


To read all the posts in the series, click the graphic.

I Jumped...

As a child I was painfully shy and had a hard time making friends. I remember one time in kindergarten; I got this idea that would change my friendless future. I would make a club!

I told all the girls in my class, “I am starting a club and it’s going to be super fun. No boys are allowed.” 

Girls from my class began flocking to me. “What are we going to do, Amanda?”

My response came out hesitantly; I really hadn’t thought it out that far. “We are… are… going to play jump rope!” And after a few minutes of jump rope, I declared, “Now we are going to… to… play link arms and take turns being the leader!”

After a few minutes of the follow-the-leader game one of the girls looked at me and said, “This game is stupid. What else can we do in your club?”

I couldn’t think. I was out of ideas. I stood there dumbfounded until another girl piped up, “Your club is boring. I’m going to start a way better and cooler club.” And just like that my 10 minutes in the sun ended. Every single girl left my club for the better and cooler club, and I was right back where I started, all alone.
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I think somewhere deep down in my heart of hearts, I worry my whole life will be like this. Trying and failing. I worry I will step out on one of the ideas that God’s placed in my heart, and He won’t meet me there. I worry someone will discover how flawed I am, how I don’t have all the answers, how I really don’t have any clue what I am doing other than that I think I am following Christ.

Perhaps even more difficult than the listening, than the obeying, is the now-what part of following Christ. “I did it, God. I heard You. I obeyed You. Now where are You? You are going to show up, right? You are going to catch me, right?”

I think of Peter who, upon seeing Jesus walking on the water, zealously asks if he can join Him. Peter gets out of the boat, he walks on water (WALKS on WATER!)… and then he sees the wind. Peter’s faith wavers. He wonders what he’s doing. He wonders what will happen. The what-ifs have a chance to catch up with him.

I got out of the boat. Now what?

Peter begins sinking, and as Jesus lifts him out of the water he asks, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Why do I doubt?

I’ve heard God. I’ve obeyed. And I worry He won’t see it through. I worry I will fail. I worry the storms of life will consume me or my family.

Jesus is in front of Peter. With him. And Jesus is before me. With me.

I am still the insecure girl worried that I am going to get left alone, that I am going to fail, that God won’t do what He promised.

I am like Peter, scared of wind.

In those moments I see the way I haven’t really surrendered myself. Because if I had surrendered my life, placed it fully in Christ’s hands, I wouldn’t doubt. I wouldn’t try to pick my life back out of Christ’s hands. I would allow Christ to have His timing, His way, His outcome. My eyes would stay set on Him.

Not only do you need to believe that God can… but you have to believe that God can in YOU, and through YOU.

Crazy obedience is releasing control. It’s letting go of past failures, mistakes and heartaches.

I give God my life.

And then it’s His.

“It is not I who lives but Christ who lives in me.”

As I think of this idea of taking a leap of faith, I think of the phrase “falling in love.” Faith is jumping even when you aren’t 100% sure of the outcome. Faith is trusting that God will catch you. And the more times I free-fall from my will into His, the deeper I fall in love with Jesus.

He. Has. Always. Been. With. Me.

And I am fallingin love with Him.

Amen.

By Grace,

Amanda

Photo Credit

Click the graphic to see all the posts in the series.